How to Manage a Narcissistic Employee

Every team has its share of diverse personalities, but managing a narcissistic employee can pose a unique set of challenges. On the surface, narcissistic individuals may appear confident, ambitious, and even charismatic. Beneath the surface, however, their behaviors can erode trust, disrupt team dynamics, and create an emotionally draining work environment.

As employers, it’s vital to understand what you’re dealing with, set clear boundaries, and lead with both empathy and accountability.

Understanding Narcissism in the Workplace

Narcissism isn’t just about egotism. Narcissistic employees often:

• Crave constant validation and admiration
• Exaggerate their accomplishments
• Take credit for others’ work
• React defensively or even aggressively to criticism
• Deflect responsibility and blame others
• Undermine peers to elevate themselves
• Lack genuine empathy

It’s also important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum. Some employees may exhibit occasional traits under stress, while others may demonstrate a consistent pattern of disruptive behavior.

Covert narcissists, in particular, can be more difficult to spot. They may initially come across as cooperative or even vulnerable. Then their manipulative tendencies only become clear once they feel their ego is threatened.

Why It Matters

Unchecked narcissistic behavior can lead to:

• Declining team morale
• Loss of high-performing staff
• Toxic conflict
• Disruption of collaborative workflows
• Legal or reputational risk, particularly if behaviors cross into bullying or harassment

Managing these employees requires a strategic, informed approach. Left unaddressed, their conduct can cause more damage than their contributions are worth.

Signs You May Be Managing a Narcissistic Employee

Watch for consistent patterns like:

• Disregard for team efforts or overemphasis on individual recognition
• Gossiping, undermining peers, or triangulating colleagues against one another
• Refusal to take accountability or persistent victimization
• Inflated sense of entitlement or “special rules” mentality
• Resistance to feedback or excessive defensiveness

These behaviors may not be obvious at first. Often, narcissistic employees perform well in the early stages, winning trust with confidence and apparent drive. The problems often surface when they are asked to collaborate, follow leadership, or accept critique.

Strategies for Employers and Managers

1. Set Clear, Firm Boundaries

Establish performance expectations, behavioral norms, and communication standards early—and reinforce them consistently. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations. Narcissistic individuals often test limits, so clarity and consistency are essential.

2. Provide Direct and Documented Feedback

Avoid sugar-coating or overly emotional responses. Be factual, specific, and professional. Document all key interactions, especially those involving behavioral correction or conflict resolution. This protects your team and your organization.

3. Avoid Ego Confrontations

Narcissists often view criticism as a personal attack. Frame feedback around business outcomes rather than personal shortcomings. For example, instead of “You’re not a team player,” say, “This project requires collaboration – here’s how your individual work impacts the group.”

4. Reinforce Team Values

Create a culture where teamwork, empathy, and respect are visibly recognized and rewarded. A narcissistic employee may be less likely to act out if they see that individualism and self-promotion are not the keys to advancement.

5. Coach – But With Limits

Some narcissistic traits can be softened with coaching, especially if the employee is open to change. Focus on emotional intelligence, perspective-taking, and communication. However, don’t invest indefinitely. Know when the behavior is a pattern, not a phase.

6. Monitor Team Impact

Check in regularly with other employees. Are they feeling marginalized, undermined, or stressed? Don’t let one employee’s behavior diminish the performance or wellbeing of others. Maintain respect for all members of the team and avoid name calling or labelling that can isolate team members or encourage destructive gossip.

7. Avoid Rewarding Toxic Success

A narcissistic employee may drive results—but if it comes at the cost of culture, collaboration, and retention, the price is too high. Evaluate their impact holistically, not just through KPIs.

8. Enforce Consequences When Needed

If boundaries are repeatedly crossed or behavior escalates to harassment or bullying, follow disciplinary processes clearly and promptly. Narcissists will often push back—expect deflection, denial, or even retaliation—but holding your ground sets the tone for your leadership.

When It’s Time to Let Go

If all efforts at coaching, boundary-setting, and accountability fail, it may be in the best interest of your team – and your business – to exit the employee. Make sure you’ve documented everything, followed fair process, and consulted legal or HR support to minimize risk.

Final Thoughts

Managing a narcissistic employee is not easy, but with awareness, consistency, and firm leadership, it can be done. The key is to avoid personalizing their behavior; being manipulated by charm or blame-shifting; and sacrifcing team wellbeing for short-term results.

If you would like to discuss how we can help build a healthy workplace that is built on mutual respect and shared goals, please get in touch with me at amanda@orgshakers.com.