How Can Employers Coach Resilience After a Missed Promotion?

The excitement of a promotion is palpable – the celebrations, the recognition, the doors they open.

But there’s another, quieter side of the story that plays out behind closed doors: the moment when a capable, hardworking employee goes for a promotion… and doesn’t land it.

It’s a tough blow. Disappointment, frustration, and even self-doubt can creep in, leaving employees disillusioned and disengaged. In fact, a survey by McKinsey & Company found that nearly 40% of employees who were passed over for a promotion considered leaving their organization within six months.

This statistic points to a clear truth: how leaders handle these moments matters. A lot.

How best to support an employee after they’ve missed a promotion?

But with the right coaching and culture, leaders can help employees process the setback, build resilience, and ultimately emerge stronger and more motivated. Here’s how they can turn a missed promotion into a powerful opportunity for growth:

1. Acknowledge the Effort, Not Just the Outcome

It starts with empathy. An employee who puts themselves forward for a promotion has taken a risk. They’ve shown ambition and vulnerability, and both of these things deserve recognition.

Leaders must make space for disappointment, not brush it aside. A sincere conversation that begins with, “I know this outcome is hard, and I appreciate the courage it took to put yourself out there,” sets the tone. It reinforces a culture where effort, not just results, is valued.

2. Offer Specific, Constructive Feedback

Generic responses like “You did great, but it just wasn’t your time” only fuel confusion. Employees need clear, actionable insight into what they did well and where they fell short.

Frame feedback in a way that empowers rather than discourages: “Your leadership in cross-functional projects really stood out. To strengthen your case next time, let’s focus on building your strategic planning skills and gaining more visibility with senior stakeholders.”

3. Co-Create a Development Plan

Once feedback is delivered, shift the focus to growth. Ask:

“What would you like to do differently next time?” “What roles are you aiming for in the long run?” “How can I support you in getting there?”

Together, create a development plan with specific goals, whether that’s mentorship, new responsibilities, skill-building, or visibility projects. This helps move employees from feeling stuck to being in motion towards growth, which also aids in keeping them consistently engaged in their progress.

4. Normalize Setbacks as Part of Growth

Rejection is part of almost every successful career path. Share real stories (maybe even your own), as when leaders are honest about past rejections and what they learned, it gives employees permission to see their own experience as a step, not a stop. This kind of storytelling helps shape a growth mindset, which has been linked to increased resilience and higher long-term achievement.

5. Celebrate Progress Along the Way

Progress deserves praise – whether or not it comes with a title. Recognize new skills, successful projects, and bold efforts.

How to accept a job promotion?

While much focus is placed on those who miss out, it’s equally important to support employees who do secure the promotion.

Accepting a new role can be exciting, but it also comes with responsibility for how it is handled internally.

A thoughtful approach helps maintain team morale and strengthens workplace culture.

We should where possible encourage promoted employees to:

• Show humility: Celebrate the achievement without gloating. A simple, sincere acknowledgement of the opportunity goes further than grand celebrations.
• Recognise others: Thank colleagues who supported their journey and acknowledge the collective team effort that contributed to their growth.
• Remain inclusive: Continue to collaborate and invite input from peers who may have also applied, showing respect for their skills and aspirations.
• Lead by example: Step into the role with professionalism, demonstrating that the promotion is not just about recognition but about responsibility and contribution to the wider team.

In Conclusion…

Handled well, promotions can strengthen relationships across the workforce rather than create divides, reinforcing a culture where success is celebrated collectively.

Over time, your employee will start to see that the missed promotion wasn’t a wall, but rather a curve in the road that led to something better.

Disappointment is part of professional life, but disillusionment doesn’t have to be. With thoughtful coaching, transparent feedback, and ongoing support, employers can help employees turn rejection into resilience.

If you would like to discuss how we can help coach your people managers in the art of turning rejection into resilience, please get in touch with us today!